Size jokes
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
Basketballs are bigger than end.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Big
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.