Size jokes

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

Spare.

You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.

73 Earths can fit in Uranus.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Big

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

Yo mama so fat...

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?

A small medium at large.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

What do you call a midget that waves at you?

A microwave.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...

SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!