Size jokes
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Big