Size jokes
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.