Size jokes
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.
Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.
Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.
The end.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.