Size jokes

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.

Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.

Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

Orphans get family-sized chips for free.

The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.