Size jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Yo mama so fat, she plays ping pong with the planets.
You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?