Size jokes

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?

No ballroom.

If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?

Why do you call a fat midget?

Jiggly Puff.

Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

Yo mama so fat, she plays ping pong with the planets.

Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?

They were all family sized.

You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.

The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."

Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.

A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.

The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."

Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.

Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.

After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.

Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"

The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."

Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!

Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.