Situation jokes
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.
My life is a joke.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"