Situation Jokes

I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.

These are meannnnn.

They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.

Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”

"but age is just a number" 🤣

A text message conversation. The first person asks "Hi, how old are you?" The second person replies "14", the first person says "You're so young. I'm 32 yrs old. But age is just a number." The second replies "Yeah...you know what else is a number?" with the number 911 below.

What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?

Because they can't tell their parents.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"

Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!

James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.

My life.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."