A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
