Situation jokes
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
"Like if u cry everytime."
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”