Situation jokes

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

*at school*

Nobody: Do you want nuts?

Me: Wait, you have some?

Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

Me: :0

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Orphan, they're enough of a joke.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"

Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.

Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?

Because his dog had a sore throat!

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.