Situation jokes

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

Murueurx.

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

I am an orphan...

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.