Situation jokes
I am an orphan...
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Memes
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Murueurx.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.