Situation jokes
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
I am an orphan...
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
It's ALWAYS like this
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Murueurx.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.