Situation jokes
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
I am an orphan...
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
It's ALWAYS like this
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Murueurx.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...