Situation jokes

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

I am an orphan...

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?

It was family size.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Murueurx.

I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

The George Floyd situation was breathtaking.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...