Sitting Jokes

i was sitting in class and the teacher said he wasn't disapointed in me and my best friend but not so much in me. I looked at my best friend and said "I'm a disapointment to the teacher too"

Why do orphans cry alone. They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a happy meal

you know what i said to the chair, sit but it didnt move hahaha

when you are sitting out side at school and this boy come up to you with a rock in his hand and says do you know where mrs stewrt is at

Dad: boy Come sit in this hole while I brace the ground Boy: I don't want to see grandpa he scares me

Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because its sitting in the AC.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider●-●

I sit because i can't stand you

Q:Get up for a chair joke. A:Oh never mind you can sit down

What is smal, red and sitting in the corner?

A baby playing with a scalpel

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"

schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD" then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours

Faty and skinny sitting in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.

Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because their a big cheetah

yo mama is so dumb she sits on trump's wall 24 hours every day

A guy is sitting at a bar, when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!”