Sitting

Sitting Jokes

If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell? put $ 25 00 under the handicapped stall before you put dick under the handicapped stall ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ’ธ

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

โ€žYouโ€™re not going to have time to finish this,โ€œ the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet. โ€žYes I will,โ€œ replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

โ€žNo you donโ€™t, Iโ€™m not going to accept that. Itโ€™s late.โ€œ The student looked incredulous and angry. โ€žDo you know who I am?โ€œ

โ€žNo, as a matter of fact I donโ€™t,โ€œ replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice. โ€žDo you know who I am?โ€œ the student asked again. โ€žNo, and I donโ€™t care,โ€œ replied the professor with an air of superiority. โ€žGood,โ€œ replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said,โ€™ Hey man, boing, are you sentient too?โ€™ The other one said, โ€œIโ€™m sapient, you are sentient!!โ€ BOINGZINGA!!!?

POV: Wine Taster in hell

I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!" The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."

one day i was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger it grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all now i am just a big butthole typing this please help me

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

A little girl walks into the bathroom see her mom naked taking a shower and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get breasts ..mom say oh when your 12 or 13 ..little girl looks down and seeโ€™s her pubes and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get hair down there ..mom say oh about the same time you get breasts..then the little girl walks in see her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks daddy daddy when am I gunna get one of those ..dad says soon as your mom leaves for work

1

So I was sitting at a bar right, That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

0

A Chinese Drunk and a Jewish Drunk are sitting together on a park bench...

After finishing his drink the Jew takes his bottle and *smashes* it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" ask the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle, and *smashes* it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg.... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later thereโ€™s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: โ€˜What the hell was that all about?