Sister jokes

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"

If you play games, go play on your sister.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."

What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?

A sissy.

I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?

They're both "sweet home Alabama."

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)

A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

Answer: 16

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"