Side

Side jokes

Picture

    • I found the comments before the picture of you got reported, and yes, with all my heart, there was a picture of you in your bra! But I was on your side, so was Kenya, Prince, and Heo! And Mariah, more will be in soon!

    Dark side

    • Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

    Kenya

    • Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen

    Typo

    • Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

    Alen vs. Predator.

  • 0

    • Chess

    • Why can Michael Jackson not play chess? Because he can't pick which side he is on, the white or black side.

  • 5

    • Wall

    • Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!

  • 1

    • Kingdom

    • Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

    The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.

    The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

    The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

    And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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    • Bitch

    • An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.

    The man says, "Will you move your dog?"

    The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.

    The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"

  • 0

    • Fire

    • There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

    When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

    She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

    54 students died that day.