Side jokes
What is a mouse’s 🐭 favorite side order?
Cheese Fries 🍟😋
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.