Shut Up Jokes

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"

What to say to a single guy whos insulting you. "Shut up you horny virgin"!

A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom why is my name Rose?"

The mom responded, "Well you see, when were you born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals on your head."

The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

There was a guy called manners on called poo and called shut up One day manners was on his way to pick up poo from school A police officer stopped shut up and said police: what’s you name Shut up: shut up Police:weres your manners?! Shut up: picking up poo

Mom shut up me I don't shut up I grow up when I look at you I throw up

YO THREE KID'S PLAY HIDE IN GO SEEK THEIR NAME'S ARE TROUBLE MANNERS AND SHUTUP SHUTUP HIT THE POLICE STATION MANNERS HIT THE TRASHCAN TROUBLE IS THE SEEKER WHEN THEY GO AND HIDE AND ALL THAT SHIT THE POLICE MAN COME'S UP TO SHUT UP AND GOES HEY KID WHAT'S YOUR NAME WELL SHUTUP LOOK'S AT HIM AND GOES SHUTUP POLICE MAN SAY'S EXCUSE ME KID WERE'S YOUR MANNERS AT SHUT UP GOES OH MANNERS IN THE TRASH POLICE MAN GOES OH MANNERS IN THE TRASH AND THEN POLICE MAN GOES HEY KID ARE U LOOKING FOR TROUBLE THEN SHUTUP GOES AND SAY'S NO TROUBLE'S LOOKING FOR ME

( Guy 1: Why my cat's so angry ? ) ( Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage ) ( Guy 1: Don't you ? ) ( Guy 2: Yeah it seems delicious ) ( Guy 1: Mmm so .. w-wait what are you doing ? I didn't think you mean the one in my lunch :< where are you leaving #_# ) **Meow ...** ( Guy 1: Shut up i will never feed you this sausage it's not for you :< -_- </3 )

Farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm says this is the pig I'm fucking she say u idiot that's a sheep he says shut up I wasn't talking to you

Mommy mommy! Are we dragons? Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.

What's a deaf kids favourite words?

Shut up.

A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said "sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE" then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV His daughter comes in and says "dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! Its because when you were born a rose peddle fell on your head." "Cool" Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said "dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied,"Oh! its because when you were a baby, a daisy peddle fell on your head." "Awesome" Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"

Mommy mommy! Are we Drug dealers? Shut up and cut the coke.