Short jokes

Short Jokes

Ass

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

Hamster

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Israel

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

Girlfriend

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

MVP

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

Woman

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

Face

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

Prostitution

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Orphan

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

Feminazi

What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?

Being a bitch.