Short jokes
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?
Netflix and alcohol.
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
We’re so poor, we can’t even afford free stuff.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Heh.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?
Because vodka in Russia is weak.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.