Short jokes
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
Their family portrait is also a dating app.
Yo momma is so fat that the ground shakes a lot as she walks.
Your momma so slutty, she masturbates with the Calgary Tower.
What do you call a trans superhero team?
Ex-men.
What do you call it when two gay roosters fight?
Cockfighting
What is the difference between a woman and a knife?
The knife has a point.
What did Henry VIII say when he was asked to review Six the Musical?
"It was okay, but I really think they could have cut a few parts."
Why did Anne cross the road?
To get a new head ;)
Why did Monika look at the recycling bin with tears in her eyes?
Because she realized she just couldn't delete her feelings for you...
Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Because their focus is way off.
I know you’re feeling in a haze, but please enjoy your last three days.
FC Chelsea fans are just as nervous, stupid, scared, and restless as their allies.
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
Should we go to America for treatment?
We stayed in Essen and then left.
How much is McDonald's on a hot day?
Trump cut the company's advertising spending on Spotcom by 25%.
Putin's words paint a picture of his world as vast, but in reality, it is shrinking.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?