Short jokes
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
How did Hitler like his portobello mushrooms?
Jewcy.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite car?
Rolls Royce.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite music?
Rock and roll.
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
What's a Mexican's favorite song?
"I Walk the Line."
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.