Short jokes
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
What do me, emos, and Monster cans have in common?
A barcode.
"There's one terrible pilot." -- President George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.
According to Michael J. Fox, rumors of a "Back to the Future" part 4 are a little shaky.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
If an emo kid takes antidepressant medication, will they be happy?
If an emo kid takes an over-the-counter medication, will they be happy?
I showed my family a few Charlie Kirk debates.
They called him a pain in the neck.
OK, bye.
What do you call a crackhead with no crack?
Pointless.
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words to her husband?
"You feed the dog, I’ll feed the fish."
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
Why is ten afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
Everyone is so sensitive about racial issues these days.
All I did was burn a couple crosses and I'm up on federal hate crime charges.
Retard. Retard. Retarded. Abortion. Cross burning.
Look at me, I'm funny and edgy.
How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?
Through a special ballot.
Must have been a woman pilot.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.
So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.