Short jokes
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
Roses are tree.
I shoved a battery up my butt.
Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.
So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.
I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What is the Twilight series about?
A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.