Short jokes
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A Milano’s cherry.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.