Short jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite music?
Rock and roll.
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
What's a Mexican's favorite song?
"I Walk the Line."
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
At the drive-thru window:
"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"
"We don't serve soup here!"
"Well, I didn't order any!"
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!
What kind of fruit can fix your toilet?
A plum-mer.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
What do pedophiles and guitars have in common?
They both fingered A minor.
Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.