If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.
Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
