Short jokes
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Rip Juice WRLD.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."