Short jokes
Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
Where do terrorists go when they die?
Answer: Everywhere.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
Q: What's a hooker's favourite SpongeBob episode?
A: Rock Bottom.
How do you know an orphan is telling the truth?
When they swear on their mother's grave!
Yo momma so dumb, she thought this joke was funny.
Yo momma so ugly, they celebrate her face every Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly she scares herself when she looks in the mirror.
Yo momma so ugly, your grandma wanted to name her Abomination, but the registries agent changed it.
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A teapot.
If you read this, you are gay/lesbian.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
Q. What do you call a baby born six months early?
A. A miscarriage.
What do you call a masculine lesbian who smokes weed?
A stoned butch.
Q: What do you call a hot lesbian who smokes weed?
A: A high femme.
Yo momma so dumb, she failed movie day.
If you eat pussy, and if you are what you eat, does that mean eating pussy makes you a pussy?