Short jokes
How do you make sure a rape victim doesn’t testify against you?
Kill her first.
What is a woman?
A walking vagina who nags.
I've the biggest cock. Suck it.
What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?
A transformer.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Mountain Dew was a real mountain.
What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?
Nothing.
What do you get when you combine Michael J. Fox and a cow?
A milkshake.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
None, they both eat out.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣
Why was 2 afraid of 1?
Because 7 ate 9.
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
What do me, emos, and Monster cans have in common?
A barcode.
"There's one terrible pilot." -- President George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.