Short jokes
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?
Netflix and alcohol.
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
We’re so poor, we can’t even afford free stuff.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Heh.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."