I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
can someone please tell what happened?
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Donald Trump is gonna be the best president we have ever had.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
