Short jokes

Short jokes

Vegetable

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

Sibling

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

Blind

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Lesbian

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

German

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

Women

How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Blind

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

Blind

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

Kurt Cobain

What's red and spins really fast?

Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.

Titanic

Why did the Titanic cross the road?

Michael Jackson

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

Difference

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

Women

Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?

Because they’ll get chapped lips.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.