Short jokes
What do you call a gay baseball player? A homo-run-sexual.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
I woke up in my bed today.
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
Yo Mama so dumb, she needs 10 explanation bears to understand you.
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Kamikaze!
Kamikaze wh—
おいおい、お前を殺して、その塔ごと地面に叩き込んでやるぞ! いいな?
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking hot body?
Cremation.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.