Short jokes
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
What did the builder say after the foundation?
"Employees!"
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?
Pocahontas
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"