Short jokes
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
You built like you in the 1980's!
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Yo cuando no hago la tarea.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.