What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.