Short jokes
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Yo cuando no hago la tarea.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
Your hairline’s going backwards in Ohio.
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”