Short jokes
What was the name of the person who was mean?
The Canabully.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
Why did you say not to?
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.
oo----- ()
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What is Saturn's favorite day?
Saturday!
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.