Short jokes
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Joke start.
Punchline!
Oh well, I.H.N.! I.H.N.!! I.H.N.!!!
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Hehe.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.