Short jokes
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.