Short jokes
I have a girlfriend.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
Fuck the Green Bay Packers!
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."