Short jokes
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
I have a girlfriend.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
Fuck the Green Bay Packers!
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.