Short jokes
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
Fuck the Green Bay Packers!
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*