Short jokes
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.