Short jokes
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
Yo Nan.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Ha, Uranus face!
Not in a racist way tho.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"