What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. -- The odds were against me.
i got kicked out of the hospital cause i told all the Covid-19 patents to stay positive.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
They say people are 75% water But I'm 100% useless
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
what happens when the president turns emo? the great depression
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
If you say to someone "have a nice day!" It will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours" They'll be terrified.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig
When your crush walks in class but youre homeschooled...
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? - Because they don't C#.
Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A:How do you breathe through that little thing?
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
