Short jokes

Short jokes

Titanic

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

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  • Band

    I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

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  • Prize

    Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?

    Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.

    Plane

    Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

    Trash

    My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

    Boy

    What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

    I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

    Scissors

    Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

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  • Cheese

    Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

    He wants to make America grate again.

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  • America

    If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

    Bucket

    I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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  • Suicide

    Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

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