Short jokes
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.