Short jokes
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.