Short jokes
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."