Ward jokes
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
Poop backwards is poop. 💩
What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?
Insurance fraud.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.