Short jokes
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.