Short jokes
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.