Short jokes
Guys to wind the clock up?
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
Your mum's got big tits.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
You
You
You're the cow.
If humanity were to nominate the gayest country in the world, it would be Tel Aviv, honestly.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
Yee.
Q: Knock, knock? Who’s there? A: Boo. A: Boo who? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
My name is Justin. I like dick. Lit? Let me eat you out like?
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.