Short jokes
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
Eggshausted.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
"Time"? More like waiting.
"Bill, never do that again."
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
*insert pun here*
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
jkjkjhk
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
Why did Monaco cross the road? It smashed a 1-mile radius of the road + the chicken.