Short jokes
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Kobi shops at Aldi.
Landing Greasy Grove.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
Father's Day is a dad joke.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
People with bad past end up creating the worst future...