Short jokes
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
What does a pickle look like a p*nis?
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
What did one Justin say to the other Justin?
- Fuck you.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
Look in a mirror.
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.