Short jokes
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
Hey, Patrick, what am I??
Uh, stupid?
No, Iβm Texas!
Whatβs the difference??
ππππ
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
Me: I wouldnβt want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: Youβre so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
εζ§ζηθ₯θ΄ (translate it)
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Why canβt fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?
Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?
Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
All people on here, what's your least favorite hunting rifle? Mine's Sako-85.
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
James Dalton.
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.