Short jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Isaac
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
I knead bread.