Short jokes
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
gamer
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.