Short jokes
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Must. Escape. Meme.
Existence is what meme stands for for some haters.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!