Short jokes

Short Jokes

Car

What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?

Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.

People

What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?

The no-bell prize.

Role

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

Muffin

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

Difference

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

Apple

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

Bear

What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.

Yeah, that joke was unbearable.

Camel

Why did the camel cross the road?

Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.

Pencil

Two pencils walking down the street.

Which one hasn’t got AIDS?

The one with the rubber on.