Short jokes
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
You and Jason in your bed.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.