Short jokes
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
Your mother.
Give me the most likes on this site.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
All Asians look the same.