Short jokes
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEE YEEEEE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.
The bank said go to the river bank. Oh, oh, oh, good fishy joke!
Will someone play Roblox Adopt Me with me?
Iron Man dies.
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"