Short jokes
Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
What do you call roller skates you can walk in?
"Wock n' roll."
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Ert.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
I weeee is?
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.