Short jokes

Short jokes

Wristwatch

Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?

A: I find your lack of face disturbing.

Shrek

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

House

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

Hate

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

Frog

What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

Gator

What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?

He became Gatorade.

Year

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

Cocaine

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

Animal

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.