Short jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?