What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Short Jokes
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
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Habit.
I'm the joke, bitch.
You are the joke.
You are.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Your d*** size...
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
