Short jokes
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Heil Kyle!
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Eli Tremain.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(