Short jokes
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
Madeline Mcannot find her.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
It's cavers.
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)