Short jokes
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
I'll really mist ya.
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.