Short jokes
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
Poop is yummy, fuck!
"Hi, plane," said the tower.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
Your mum eats cabbage.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
Why does the orphan can’t write a single word or sentence?
Because the orphan is dumber.
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.