Short jokes
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-