Short jokes

Short jokes

Wound

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?

A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

Gun

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

Mama

Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.

Victim

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Kid

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

Baby

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Stork

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

Ip address

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

Triangle

I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.

I just stand at the back and ting.

Orphan

Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.