Short jokes

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

Hey, what do you call a beta simp?

You call me the beta simp.

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?

He ended with a Black Handed bang.

Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."

Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

What do / and \ have in common?

They have different results.