Short jokes
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
What do you call a downie superhero?
Chromo-doner.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.